


A Reunion and Ways to Lose Love

by mgsmurf



Series: Season 8 extra stuff [2]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Pregnancy, Reunion, Spoilers for Season 8 Ep 4, possiblities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-02-29 23:32:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18788500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mgsmurf/pseuds/mgsmurf
Summary: After Jaime left Brienne had been sure he had left to die protecting Cersei, but had he? The more she things about them, the more she realizes Jaime's reason for going south is may be something different. She had failed Renly and Lady Catelyn, she cannot allow herself to fail Jaime too. A possible reunion for Jaime and Brienne.Spoilers for Season 8, Episode 4





	A Reunion and Ways to Lose Love

**Author's Note:**

> Sure this is easier, and quicker and much cheesier than the reunion we're getting in the show. But I wanted to explore how different both their fears of losing love are, and how that played in their goodbye scene and could follow into a reunion.

After Jaime left Brienne felt gutted and had cried for hours. She knew his past with Cersei still lingered for him, and they had not spoken of feelings but she knew Jaime had been happy with her. It was Sansa who had spoken logic. Brienne had been sure Jaime had left to die protecting Cersei. 

“But, did he?” Sansa had answered. “He made a choice when coming north, and it was not Cersei.”

Later she'd thought back to their last time together, hours before Jaime had ridden out after hateful words and no goodbye. She'd been on top and Jaime had sat up, wrapped her in his arms and shifted her into his lap. They had rocked together, joined, heart to heart, breath warm against the other's face, skin bare except for cold moonlight. Brienne closed her eyes and longed to forever be back in that moment. Afterwards, Jaime had rested his wet face upon her shoulder and she had taken it for sweat. Had it instead been tears? 

Within the week she knew she had to follow and had been unable to convince Pod to not join her. They took a ship from White Harbor and for the first time in her life the seas had not agreed with her. She was up long nights replaying seemingly every moment she'd shared with Jaime in Winterfell. He loved her, just by his actions she knew this, as sure as she knew her love of him. He had mentioned unseemly deeds when he'd left, but nothing she did not know. Even if Jaime had left her crying and pleading, he had uttered not one bad word about her or their relationship, nor had he spoken of loving Cersei still. Had he gone south to die protecting his sister, or to die trying to stop her? 

Once they moored she had found a healer, upon Pod's insistence, to confirm what she had already guessed herself. An heir, the knowledge should have had her returning to Tarth, but what did a child mean if she failed Jaime as she had Renly and Lady Catelyn?

Getting into Kings Landing had been easier than she'd thought. Cersei wanted Danerys to have to choose to destroy people with the city. It was Jaime who had found her. He'd tugged her through narrower and narrower alleys and then down stairs and more stairs until they were in the tunnels far below the city. When they finally paused, Brienne sagged against the cold stone. Curses, she could do without this bone deep exhaustion, or the wild pitching of her stomach, and whatever was the rancid smell around them. 

“Are you mad? You were safe in Winterfell.” Jaime's words were harsh, but his face fearful. 

“Do you think I would let you fight and die without my aid?” Brienne bristled and pushed herself off the wall to stand straight. 

“Which is exactly why I tried to leave without you knowing.” He was in her face now, peering up at her with wild green eyes. 

“Yes, you made me a knight and gave me an heir, and now am I supposed to just be grateful and let you get yourself killed, live the rest of my life with only the month of joy you gave me?” Brienne's face scrunched in disgust and her breath caught at the thought.

“An heir?” Jaime took a step back, blinked. 

Brienne tightened her lips. She couldn't keep her hand from straying to her still flat belly. “Yes.” She didn't know how or if she had wanted to tell Jaime, but this was not at all how she had thought it. 

Jaime sighed, took a step back towards her. “Leave. Go back to Tarth. Save your house.” The length of the tunnels around them drowned his soft words. 

Brienne shook her head. “I don't want a legacy, or even this child, not without you.” Her voice cracked and she tried to blink away tears. Curse all these growing womanly emotions. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath to calm her nerves before looking at him again. “I failed Renly and Lady Catelyn. Don't make me hide on Tarth and fail you too. Please.” The last a whisper, a plea, as tears finally did fall down her cheeks. 

Jaime nodded and frowned. His hand ghosted over hers still upon her belly. He took a step away, turned to the side and looked at the ground. “I thought I knew love.” He shook his head, swallowed. “I knew it could hurt and control and consume. But whatever I felt for Cersei pales to what I feel for you Brienne.” He cocked his head to gaze back at her, tightened his face into a scowl. “I didn't know how good it could feel, how right, and the depths of what I feel, the strength of it, the fear of losing it.”

He was back before her, facing her equally and taking her hand in his. “If Cersei knew about my true feelings for you, if she knew about us... if she knew about this child, you would be dead.” The last held a certainty that shot up Brienne's spine. 

Jaime's eyes held tears. He swallowed again, wrapped his right arm around her. “If something were to happen to you Brienne, I might as well slit my own throat.” He scrunched up his face, pain cursing through his features. “Because I can't do this life without you, not anymore.”

“And yet, you ask I live mine without you?” Brienne's voice was soft, the fight out of her for now. She shook her head and frowned. 

Jaime looked down, away from her. “As long as Cersei lives there is no future for you.”

Brienne cupped his face and lifted his gaze to her. “As long as Cersei lives there is no future for us. Let me help you.”

He shook his head. “This mess, Cersei, it's my doing not yours.” 

“True.” Brienne nodded. “I ask to help for our future, for our child's future.” Our child, she thought. She'd had weeks for the truth she was with child to crept up on her, but until this moment, back in Jaime's arms, she had not wanted this child so very badly. 

Jaime let our a breath, nodded. He leaned closer and stood taller to rest his forehead upon hers. “Is this where we do the make up sex?”

Brienne pulled back enough to look down at him. “Pay tell you do not means here. That stone floor looks rather hard, and curses what is that smell?” She raised a hand to her nose. The pervasive smell was metallic and rancid. Another odd symptom of her condition. Last night the sour smell from Pod's ale across the table almost turned her stomach too much to eat what meager amount she could. 

“Wildfire,” Jaime answered. He stepped away from her and grabbed one of the few torches along the wall, then stepped further down the tunnel they had not traveled, torch well out before him. Away in the distance something green gleamed along the stone floor. Brienne reached out to his gold hand to pull him away. Her heart hammered in her chest. She had known she had come to a dangerous place, among dangerous people. It was not until that she fully realized they stood within a city ready to be lit and explode. 

“Come.” Jaime placed the torch back and walked farther from the wildfire. “I'll take you somewhere safe.”

##

Brienne was not certain where exactly within Kings Landing Jaime had taken her. They had traveled the tunnels for what seemed ages before finally ascending stairs and entering a secret passage to what appeared a private room perhaps in a larger house. 

The room's bed had been more than adequate for a proper reunion. She had not realized how starved she'd been for Jaime's hand, mouth and cock. They lay sated, bare skin sweat slick, hair tousled. Jaime's hand rested on her belly. 

“Are you sure you're up to this?” Jaime asked, nuzzling her neck. 

Brienne rolled to her side, propped up on one elbow, still bare and not caring. “We agreed to do this together. Do not now take that back because of my... condition.”

“It's a babe, not a condition.” Jaime rolled on his side to face her, his hand sliding to her hip. “The Mountain is never far from Cersei, never sleeps, never eats.”

Brienne frowned and could not stop the fear in the pit of her stomach. “You know about a mother's strength. We both saw it in Catelyn. You have seen it in Cersei.” She swallowed, tried to push down her nausea. “We fight partly for the future of this child, and of that I know I am capable.” 

Jaime nodded, then tightened his lips, lowered his hand from her hip. “Cersei told me she is with child, that it was mine.” Brienne's breath caught and her eyes widened. He certainly not had slept with Cersei since before going north. “I've heard no rumors of such within the city though,” Jaime continued. “So perhaps she has lost it, or it was another lie.” He shrugged and Brienne wondered which he hoped was the truth. 

“Do you have a plan?” Brienne asked, partly to change the subject. 

Jaime bit his lip, swallowed. “Perhaps.” 

“You surprised and bested Tyrion.”

Jaime shrugged. “That was easy enough. I knew what Tyrion thought I would do, and just didn't do it. I am no longer the man Tyrion thought I was.”

Brienne wanted to say that had been brilliant. “You could do the same with Cersei.”

“Could I?” Jaime scrunched up his face. “Cersei has never known or cared who I really was.”

“You only need to know who she is, and who she thinks you are.” She was his twin, certainly Jaime knew her at least as well as he seemed to know his brother. 

Jaime shook his head. “It seems I've spent half my life blind to who she is.”

“But you are no longer blind.”

He frowned, furrowed his brow. 

Brienne took his hand. “You are a brilliant man, when you let yourself be.”

“Brilliant?” He gave a smirk that so reminded her of the Jaime Lannister she had met long ago. “Again, I may have a plan, and it might work, or it might get us all killed.” He shrugged, although Brienne could see the seriousness in his face and fear in his eyes. “We should go gather Pod, ready things. Rumor has it the Dragon Queen stages her own attack soon so we have not much time.”

Brienne nodded. “I trust you.” She realized she did, trust him with her life, their future, their child's life. They rose and dressed, her helping Jaime if only to quicken things. “I...” Brienne started and words failed her. 

“You love me, I know.” Jaime gave her a tight smile. It was a dangerous time. “And I....”

“I know you love me as well, you've shown me. Whyever do you think I came south.” Brienne sighed. 

Before they departed they shared one last kiss, deep and lingering, a promise.


End file.
